Why am I doing the Ironman?

A few days ago I found myself wondering why I am still doing Ironman distance triathlons. I have done four of them before. I am pretty certain that I will be able to finish this one. So why in the hell am I putting myself through all this work?

Training for an Ironman is all-encompassing for me. I spend most of my days working, caring for my family and working out. Even with the relatively light Endurance Nation plan of 15-18 hours per week, I feel like I miss out on the everyday events in order to compete in an Ironman.

So, as I ran, I tried to think of why I am doing another Ironman race. I had ideas that it was because I like to stay in good shape. Quickly I realized that there are much easier ways to keep fit. I wondered if it was the challenge of doing an Ironamn. Would I be able to finish? I think I am long since past those thoughts. How about the need to have a good race? After all, my first two shots at Ironman were during the Madison, Wisconsin September heat wave. In both races, I raced poorly and ultimately succumbed to the conditions. I think it took 15+ hours to finish both. In fact I can recall laying on the ground at mile 24 of the marathon, muscles spasming so badly that the aid worker who came to check on me actually said to me, "that looks like it really hurts." You could see the muscles, from the Achilles up to the quad, tightening and relaxing without any thought of stopping. It took ONE HOUR for me to finally hobble my way through that mile. Well, I knocked out a great race at IM Florida and put those terrible races behind me.

So then why oh why am I up at 5:00 am running for two hours on an otherwise nice morning. I knew I had to talk to a higher power: my wife. I think it took her all of a millisecond to come up with the real reason I am doing this IM thing again. I need to do that which is the most difficult. She reminded me of many choices in my life that seemed to always end up with me doing the hardest thing. In college I majored in Physics. I ended up in medical school. I chose a career that makes most people wonder "how can I keep those hours." I am always choosing the hardest road. Running in college was not enough; I had to race bicycles. Then I discovered the triathlon. No way was a sprint distance race going to be enough. I needed to do an Ironman. Once that was done, there was only one thing left to do. I need to try to qualify for the world championships. I heard Tim DeBoom once say that there are only a handful of people on the earth that will ever do IM Hawaii. I really want to be one of them.

That's it. I want to qualify for Kona. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. That is why I get up every morning to beat my body up over and over again. If I don't make it, I am sure I will try again sometime. If I can not, I guess there is always the RAAM (Race Across America). Just don't tell my wife.

Todd